We are not kidding. Here’s how it went down. In response to Trump’s threats of sanctions, the former president of Russia Dimitry Medvedev tweeted that sanctions would move Russia one step closer to war with America and that Trump shouldn’t make the same mistakes as “sleepy Joe.” The mean tweet triggered Trump so bad that he sent two nuclear submarines to Russia to intimidate them into silence.

Of course hypersensitivity to media and social media posts and coercing and threatening his critics into silence is nothing new for Trump. Everyone knows the king of mean tweets can’t handle mean tweets from anyone other than himself. But when his thin skin has him reaching for the red phone every time someone triggers him, the stakes are much higher. Here’s to hoping he will drink a Diet Coke and take a chill pill, along with the rest of the wackos running the world.